Why do I say you are wasting your time with online dating? I will begin with a unisex approach. The most popular sites are what are called "Thick Markets". If you remember your Economics 101 course, a thick market contains a large number of buyers and sellers where the spread between prices quotes are really narrow and market volatility is quite tight (smaller price swings). Since markets are a creation of humanity, online dating is pretty much a market. The most popular sites have a ton of buyers and sellers, single women and single men along with some married people pretending to be single. This in my opinion devalues the average individual however paradoxically increases average person's individual value. What I mean by average person is by their attractiveness (looks). If there is a huge supply of potential mates one can believe their value is high because there is a huge demand to find a potential partner yet we believe we are special therefore a very limited supply of our special selves.
Now lets dig deeper into attractiveness. Lets start with women. Women receive more emails than men across all attractiveness levels. If a woman and man scored in the top decile in looks she will receive way more emails than him. Let dig deeper into the fairer sex. Women in top decile in looks will receive way more emails than women in the next decile and exponentially more emails than women in the bottom decile of attractiveness. We all know men value looks no surprise here. I know it sucks but that is the reality. Women in top decile reply rate is fractionally small. So men you are wasting your time by going after the most attractive women. Besides I am suspicious if women in the top decile are really who they claim to be. Men and women I like to use this tool on Google to check people's pictures to verify if they are real. It is not fool proof but it helps I use google imagines.
When it comes to women rating men's attractive the states become strange. Women rate the majority of men to be less attractive than the average looking men. What? If I remember statistics average on a normal distribution curves represents the medium of the 50th percentile. Basically 50% of outcomes fall below and above the average. Obvious something does not jive with how women view male attractiveness. This could explain the lack of response rate from women. Honestly I am not sure but I need hard numbers to verify. Allow me to take a leap of faith, perhaps women may have an unrealistic concept of male attractiveness. However, I don't have any hard numbers to back up this claim. Somehow men and women are meeting each other for dates, some get into relationships and some even get married. What is going on here? I guess when rationality sets in men and women allow for nature to take its course, the beauty standards becomes less important.
To men, stop wasting your time by contacting the most attractive women. They are getting crushed with emails and will not reply back because they overvalue themselves due to the high demand and view your level attractiveness with less than rational standards. Women, bring your standard of attractiveness down and be realistic of your own level attractiveness. In the end for both men and women overvaluing ourselves, being picky and having standards only leads to loneliness and unhappiness.
The source of my blog. I would love to read your opinions.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
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